When the Numbers Tell a Story: A Heavy appointment

Today was one of those days that felt like a punch to the gut. I went to see my endocrinologist, hoping for a clear path forward, but I left with a list of diagnoses that felt heavier than anything I've carried before.

For 25 years, I've failed to manage my Type 1 diabetes. It's been a marathon of small victories and daily efforts. I always knew I was struggling with it, but today’s appointment showed me just how much was happening beneath the surface.

The doctor confirmed my neuropathy is worse than we thought. My eyesight, which feels like it's getting worse by the day, is a direct result of these complications. On top of that, he mentioned neurodivergenc in relation to my brain fog, and my labs showed I still have an iron deficiency and an extremely low vitamin D level.

It was a lot to process. The sheer number of diagnoses hit me hard. It’s disheartening to put in so much effort, only to find out you have more serious challenges ahead. It felt like my body was a series of failing systems, and I was just trying to keep them running.

But then, the conversation shifted. My doctor's words came back to me: "We may be able to prevent some of this from getting worse, but we can't take back what's already been done." It's a difficult truth, but in it, I found a clear mission.

The path forward isn't about reversing the past; it's about protecting the future. The most powerful thing I can do now is focus on one thing and one thing only—lowering my A1c. This isn't just about a number; it's about my vision, my physical comfort, and my ability to live a full life. We may not be able to add quantity, but I hope to add quality to the life I have left.

Some days, the weight of it all feels unbearable. But today, I’m choosing to focus on the one thing I can control. I’m choosing hope.