Forgiveness isn't always given. When we've hurt those we love, we can't control how or if they will choose to forgive us. Forgiveness is a gift, and it is something others may need to work through in their own minds and on their own terms.

The path to healing a relationship is paved with your actions, whether the forgiveness is given or not. It is about showing, through your consistent behavior, that you are truly committed to change. 

Forgiveness is an event, but reconciliation is a journey. Even if you aren't offered forgiveness right away, you can still show up and be a loving, stable presence in their lives. Respect boundaries, be patient with their hesitation, and celebrate every small step forward. 

While you are hoping for forgiveness, it is just as important to learn how to forgive yourself. You are a changed person and you commitment to change shows that you are working on becoming a better person for yourself. 

What do you do when the person you need forgiveness from is the same person you see in the mirror? What do you do when your life is shattered, and the pieces feel too heavy to pick up? This is a story about a moment that broke my family and changed my life forever. 

We had a difficult night in November 2023, fueled by alcohol and anger, which led to a family confrontation.

This resulted in a police report, a small amount of time in jail, and a period of separation from my children.

We chose to relocate from Washington state back to Indiana, court appearances, 2 years of probation, plus 2 additional years of no-contact with 2 of my children.

This is such a hard journey with no communication allowed between me and 2 of my younger children. It is such a difficult situation knowing that I am not allowed to reach out to my children.

Probation has become such a surprising source of accountability and growth. I went in so angry and really not enjoying the moment, Dreading the fact that I had to do 2 years of this. But I have learned to take accountability and had a lot of mental growth. 

I have made the commitment to give up alcohol and have not had a drink since that difficult night almost 2 years ago. But not only have I given up alcohol, but I have also been changing my life from the inside out.

I have been attending therapy and learning to process anger and my emotions in a healthy way.

I have learned to focus on forgiving myself and earning back trust through consistent action. I am now focused on rebuilding my family and my life, one day at a time, regardless of the outcome. I am very committed to being a better, healthier person for myself and for my children. 

I know that my healing and sobriety would mean nothing if they didn't lead to a change in my relationship. For a long time, the painful distance from my children was the hardest part of my journey. But then, out of the blue, I received a message from my daughter in Florida that I had been praying for and then I received an invite to my granddaughter's 1st birthday party, who I had not had any contact with since she was born. 

After so much time and distance, this wasn't just an invitation- it was a sign of hope. It was a chance to reconnect and show up for her and my granddaughter. She asked for a car seat as a gift, and being able to get that for her felt incredibly meaningful. It was a tangible way to show my love and commitment to being a part of their lives again. It was a small but powerful piece of the healing process, reminding me that the hard work is worth it.

 

Stay tuned to learn more of the journey that I am on. And feel free to reach out with your own story, if you'd like.